My mouth was full of parrot. Very tasty. Release me now or zee mongrel will be next.

ye as no chance, tha' thar' little pooch be more vicious than a tigress in 'eat!

ye frenchie bucket be full o 'oles now! It be on tow behind us, we be takin' it ta port ta make repairs, an' capt Starkers 'ere be findin ta new crew fer 'er.

Ye crew be in ta 'old, they be bound and gagged! Tonight we be avin fun wi' 'em, Capt'n Starkers be makin' 'em walk ta plank! feedin ta fishes is what we be doin tonight! gaaahummpphhh

Now be unhandin' Pecky Parrot un'armed ye scoundrel! Else I be slicin ye up an feedin ye to ta pooch!

Now be unhandin' Pecky Parrot un'armed ye scoundrel!

You misunderstand. There's only one way you can get him back. It'll take several hours, and it won't be pretty.

It'll take several hours, and it won't be pretty.

My cutlass not be a surgeon's scalpel.

You misunderstand. There's only one way you can get him back. It'll take several hours, and it won't be pretty.

      

ye be a wicked an evil man. Tis not anythin that make me cry! But 'urtin an animal?

ye evil evil orrible man! Capt'n Starker and is missus be cuttin ye up into piece now!  

oooooh i know what we can do! we can page back an erase this ere evil man!

gwammphhhhh

oooooh i know what we can do! we can page back an erase this ere evil man!

I don't know how I got aboard, anyway.

oohh aargghh ye best be more careful then, afore long ta missus be tying you over a barrel and bringin out tha thar thingymajiggy she uses to flush ye bottom out! bein as she be thinkin ye be full o crap now!

Arrrrghhh!!! With a bit o' quick thinkin' I extricated meself from that one....I not be cap'n fer nuthin' ye knows. I tells me missus that the crew weren't makin' them French lassies feel too welcome, and as cap'n I 'ad ta set 'em a better example by showin' em there be no difference to them French wenches and them others they so 'appily 'ops in the bath wiv.

Her swallered that one 'ook line n' sinker, so the bathroom no longer be orf limits to me. Still, I knows 'ow ta behave meself like a gentleman and it'll be just like winder shoppin' I sees no 'arm in gettin' an appertite while I be out....so long as I eats at 'ome

dang capt'n I be feelin right pukey now! *looks green in the face from too much imagination*

You n' me both!! I 'ad a couple o' wenches in an 'orspital do that 'ose thing to me once...I swears never ever agin. It were worse than when Black 'eart Dan shot me arse full o' lead

My mouth was full of parrot. Very tasty. Release me now or zee mongrel will be next.

Now that be yer first mistake....Pecky'll be eatin' ye away frum the insides if ye don't let 'im out now....and I'll tell ye now, that'll be an 'orrible way ta go.

And if ye 'arms a single 'air o' that sweet pooches 'ead, (he be our ship's mascot) I'll maroon ye on a blood soaked cork and leave ye fer the sharks. Oh, and bosun, ye'll 'ave ta toss in some o' them undegestion tablets fer 'em as well....I hears them Froggies upsets sharks stumacks some. (must be the garlic n' snails)

I don't know how I got aboard, anyway.

And ye won't know 'ow ye got orf either....us'll blindfold 'e first

****now back ta the bathroom...I 'ears there be a fullsome French wench in there with 'er toe stuck in the plug'ole. That be me excuse an' I be stickin' to it. ****

I don't know how I got aboard, anyway.

Aye, ye be Shanghaied be my guess. What be the last thing ye remember afore waking up on board? If it was some lovely lady feeding you grog, I think Mistress Jenny might have some splaining to do.

I think Mistress Jenny might have some splaining to do.

Ye scurvey dog ye, givin away me secrets!

I think Mistress Jenny might have some splaining to do.

Nope, that not be it! Mistress Jennifer 'ad nought ta do wiv 'im bein' board!

It were somethin' like 'ow curiosity killed the cat.....he couldn't mind 'is own bisniss and 'ad ter come over 'ere ta see if there were more debauchery going on 'ere than over on 'is own bucket.

Now if 'e had bin able ta mind 'is own bisniss, 'e wouldn've 'ad Pecky peckin' at 'is particulars...or me missus lashin' 'is arse wiv the cat 'o ten when he wouldn' cough 'im up. Cat o' ten I 'ears ye ask....be the same as a cat o' nine, just 'urts more. (I thinks her got it frum Spinal Tap...'ow 11 be louder than 10 )

He would've bin better orf stayin' on 'is own vessel, though us probably woulda took it over any'ow. And it also settles that myth 'bout them Froggies bein' the best lovers...since them French wenches came aboard, they've 'ad real smiles on their faces and be sayin' our blokes are true gentlemen, that now they spits on them Frog dogs.

I knows we 'as plenty o' cabin games goin' on, but ye all needs ta git more fresh air, and if the weather be kind to us, I'd like ta see more deck games bein' played as well ....wench basketball sounds good, maybe even a bit o' mud wrestlin' is us can git some dirt next time we is ashore.

***now back ta the bathroom....think that be where I left the Cap'ns Log ****

wench basketball sounds good

Capt'n me opes ye be not thinkin o tossin ta wimmen 'bout! They be lashin back an' bouncin jellybeans over ta deck! Tha' be a sight 'n all!

Trainee capt'n Guy me thinks Icono has slunk off ta ship wi is tail between is legs?

And it also settles that myth 'bout them Froggies bein' the best lovers...since them French wenches came aboard, they've 'ad real smiles on their faces and be sayin' our blokes are true gentlemen, that now they spits on them Frog dogs.

Gentlemen? OUr men be getting soft then! Best to set sail before they start suppin tea with raised pinkie!

And if the frogs be neither fighters nor lovers, what good be they cept mayhaps shark bait?

Trainee capt'n Guy me thinks Icono has slunk off ta ship wi is tail between is legs?

If what Capt'n Starkers say be true, I doubt we see his face in these parts again.

Capt'n me opes ye be not thinkin o tossin ta wimmen 'bout! They be lashin back an' bouncin jellybeans over ta deck! Tha' be a sight 'n all!

Nah, not I....tossin wimmin about be what them Froggies do, 'an why them French wenches is 'appier over 'ere. What I likes ta see be a bit o' friendly sport....and to me, wench basketball be like poetry in motion.

Gentlemen? OUr men be getting soft then! Best to set sail before they start suppin tea with raised pinkie!

Now I didn't say 'em was angels...just more considerate o' the wenches than them Froggies. While them Froggies is down there kissin' n' lickin' their toes, our blokes be up there where it counts...talkin' to 'em like they'm real wimmin.

And if the frogs be neither fighters nor lovers, what good be they cept mayhaps shark bait?

That be true First Mate Guy, but we 'ad better garnish 'em wiv plenty o' antacid ta keep them animal welfare lot off our backs fer feedin' them poor sharks food that'll make 'em ill.

Now Mistress Jennifer, be ye one fer wench basketball or sumthin' more sedate like shuffleboard? If it be the latter, an ice hockey goalie give me 'is protective get up...just in case ye gets carried away.

That be true First Mate Guy, but we 'ad better garnish 'em wiv plenty o' antacid ta keep them animal welfare lot off our backs fer feedin' them poor sharks food that'll make 'em ill.

Aye, them Peta people be a cranky lot! Like to had me 'ead for steppin on a cock roach. Just because his name be Marcel......