Orright then Mistress Jennifer, if that there Cap'n Icono gives ye any more trouble, 'ang 'im naked from the nearest yard arm and ask me good missus fer a loan of Pecky the carnivorous parrot (think he really be a vulture) ta pick 'is bones. And if ye be offended at the sight of pink jelly beans, I 'aves some dark glasses Gorg gave me that'll help wiv yer embarrissmint

Aye aye capt'n, tis now done, Pecky be avin a good time o it to! Them pink jelly beans? They be no problem! Theys beein so small and all!

Loses pirate voice* Oh crap, I got sucked in. Somebody get me the hell off on the plank. That's a smegging ORDER. I won't be party to this insanity anymore . . . *pirate voice reappears* better to drown in the pits of digital hell than on a boat with the likes o' ye . . .

aahh me good friend master san, what ye be doin? Tis better ye be stayin aboard this ere bucket of creaking timbers, tis a fine time ye'll ave. Wimmen and rum, an plenty bootie ta be shared!

Ta capt'n of this ere fleet be a fine man wid a gentle wife who as a penchant ta dish out pain when ta need arises! A fairer deal ye'll not git with another capt'n.

Yer not find a better crew ta be part of! *prods im wid er cutlass! with a big grin on er face!*

with the lashes from their tongues and cat o' nines, ye'd be demoted from cap'n to a willin' plank walker afore ye knew it.

if that there Cap'n Icono gives ye any more trouble, 'ang 'im naked from the nearest yard arm and ask me good missus fer a loan of Pecky the carnivorous parrot (think he really be a vulture) ta pick 'is bones

Sounds like fun. I knew you women couldn't resist zee charms of Frenchmen. You are too fine a lady to be on a ship with these filthy, unwashed scalawags. Join us and you'll have all zee fine clothes and jewels you could ever want.

Sounds like fun. I knew you women couldn't resist zee charms of Frenchmen. You are too fine a lady to be on a ship with these filthy, unwashed scalawags. Join us and you'll have all zee fine clothes and jewels you could ever want.

Aye, the French be fine lovers, but lousy fighters. I saw no need to wake the crew as Mistress Jennifer can andily defeat any French Frigate, with but a stumbling Gid as help.

Aye aye capt'n, tis now done, Pecky be avin a good time o it to! Them pink jelly beans? They be no problem! Theys beein so small and all!

That Pecky be a good bird, hey! 'owever, he weren't interested in 'Icono's lil pink jelly bean (term for an unusually small male appendage ) , says it were too small ta bother with....and he were out of toothpicks.


Well me buckos, I've 'ad an unusual request!! Seems we 'ave a couple o' jolly tars aboard who wants ta go ta sumthin they calls a Gay Mardi Grar when we be in the vicinity o' New Orleans. Dunno 'bout that sort of thing - men dressin' up in wimmins clothes n' the like - but I'll put it to ye the crew ta vote ta see if we should dock there fer this 'ere paaaarty. S'pose there'll be plenty o' rum n' the like fer those o 'e who likes ta tickle yer tonsils wiv a bit o' grog.

From what I 'ears, seems them transvestite fellers Lil Whip brought aboard'll be right at 'ome at this 'ere Mardi Grar do.

Oh, and Gorg tells me he can beam down 'is brother, Garter, if us wants more wind in our sails ta reach Stardock sooner. Seems if we feeds Garter some of 'is favrite food (grilled cheese), he gets 'ighly flatulent. So when the wind won't blow and the ship won't go, we can use Garter the farter ta start 'er.

Tho I'd hate ter think 'ow far North us'd get blowed past Stardock if we was ta feed 'im baked beans....don't fancy them cold waaaters of the Arctic

AYe, be alright wit me. I just ope the rest of the crew does not partake too much of the rum, and decide these 'wimmin' are a sight for sore eyes. They be mighty surprised upon waking!

The day I surrender to the damned Frenchies will be the day jennifer becomes a stay at home Mom! Bah! French guns are likely to rain fire on their own ships! Let's call in Suspeckted's ship for reinforcement and blow these blasted Frenchies outta the water (but let's steal they're rum first...me liver's cryin' out for a refill!)

AYe, be alright wit me. I just ope the rest of the crew does not partake too much of the rum, and decide these 'wimmin' are a sight for sore eyes. They be mighty surprised upon waking!

I fight much better when I'm drunk, doc. I feel no pain! But I do 'ope the men stay away from the women on these ships, or we just may 'ave to put 'em under quarantine. I wouldn't wish that nasty stuff we got offa them French whores we 'ad awhile back onto ANYONE!

The day I surrender to the damned Frenchies will be the day jennifer becomes a stay at home Mom! Bah! French guns are likely to rain fire on their own ships! Let's call in Suspeckted's ship for reinforcement and blow these blasted Frenchies outta the water But I do 'ope the men stay away from the women on these ships, or we just may 'ave to put 'em under quarantine. I wouldn't wish that nasty stuff we got offa them French whores we 'ad awhile back onto ANYONE!

Now, now Gid....we be international pirates frum all corners o' the globe, and we'll not be 'avin' any o' that national insultin an' the likes. In fact, we 'aves a French wench aboard the Twisted Sister who be a fine example of a woman.....trouble is, wiv me missus aboard now, I not be allowed ta sample 'er wiles n' fancies. Might 'ave ta drop 'er orf at the next port o' call....the missus 'as bin on at me fer years to 'oliday in Acapulco.

Now that I've chastised ye about that 'Frenchie discriminatin' stuff, let's get down ta the business of seafarin' an' give that Froggy vessel a true pirates lambastin afore us loots its booty n' steals their wenches. I knows some of me crew be a scurvy bunch, but I'll wager me peg leg them French lassies'll be a lot 'appier over 'ere on our ol' baaark....at least us 'aves a bath! Orright then, who be volunteerin' ta wash their backs?

A strong word o' warnin' DON'T be givin' Garter any baked beans....that be an ORDER!!!! The cook accidentally give 'im some and there were an island orf our Port Bow that no longer be there.....lucky fer us he were facin' it out ta sea, otherwise we'd be missin' a Starboard Bow.

Sounds like fun. I knew you women couldn't resist zee charms of Frenchmen. You are too fine a lady to be on a ship with these filthy, unwashed scalawags. Join us and you'll have all zee fine clothes and jewels you could ever want.

Silence ye french dog! *slaps Icono silly* heheheh

Capt'n Starkers ye be havin me in stitches with ye talkin! It urts to laugh so!

We be hirin a new cook a woman named Ghengis Hank, she fight like lion and cook like a uh ..... uh ... she cook jus fine! *looks embarrassed*

From what I 'ears, seems them transvestite fellers Lil Whip brought aboard'll be right at 'ome at this 'ere Mardi Grar do.

I missed this one Capt'n transvestites? Aye will be more of a laff party lads! Tis okay wid me ta go ashore for the party.

AYe, be alright wit me. I just ope the rest of the crew does not partake too much of the rum, and decide these 'wimmin' are a sight for sore eyes. They be mighty surprised upon waking!

Aye first mate Guy they be very surprised hehehe

The day I surrender to the damned Frenchies will be the day jennifer becomes a stay at home Mom!

*slaps bosun Gig about ta head fer even suggestin such a thing!*  

Now, now Gid....we be international pirates frum all corners o' the globe, and we'll not be 'avin' any o' that national insultin an' the likes. In fact, we 'aves a French wench aboard the Twisted Sister who be a fine example of a woman.....trouble is, wiv me missus aboard now, I not be allowed ta sample 'er wiles n' fancies. Might 'ave ta drop 'er orf at the next port o' call....the missus 'as bin on at me fer years to 'oliday in Acapulco.

Aye, that we be, but we already have our quota of the French. That be me! As French as they come and proud of it - sometimes! As long as I can still be a pirate!

*slaps bosun Gig about ta head fer even suggestin such a thing!*

Ah, be kind to him. He is yet a young un.  

I be seein the Frenchie Icono be silent now he be seein ta whole fleet then. He be seein hows we outgunned im wi our cannons and mighty crew of men and women!

I've no eard a peep outa him since Pecka ta Parrot had a go at im!
hummmphhhh!  

Ere Icono, what say ye then?

Ere Icono, what say ye then?

My mouth was full of parrot. Very tasty. Release me now or zee mongrel will be next.

Capt'n Starkers ye be havin me in stitches with ye talkin! It urts to laugh so!

That be the 'ole idear.....ta be 'avin' fun an' a good larf. I be glad too that ye turned down that Froggies invite ta join 'is band o' escargot eaters...with 'is promise of fine clothin' n' jewels. Truth is, he'd 'ave 'ad ye eatin' frogs legs and escargot before ye knew it.....escargot my arse, they be snails.

And another thing, frogs is found on lily pads and in ponds.....so this motley crew of Froggie wannnabes 'as no business bein' on the 'igh seas pretendin' ta be buccaneers, do 'em? In that case, us'll scour the seas an' drive 'em back inland to truffle huntin'

BTW Mistress Jennifer, ye be a stay at home mom. 'Ome be where the 'eart be, and your 'eart be with us 'ere on the 'igh seas....and some o' the crew looks up to ye as a mother figgur fer yer carin' but strong leadership quaaalities, so it not be such an insult aaaafter all.

Aye, that we be, but we already have our quota of the French. That be me! As French as they come and proud of it - sometimes! As long as I can still be a pirate!

Ye can be proud of yer Froggie 'eritage as much as ye likes, Dr Guy. I've never seed 'e eatin' snails or frogs legs....and when us 'as bin ashore, I've never seed yer nose in the dirt sniffin' fer truffles, so ye be a fine and I be proud to call ye a pirate.

My mouth is full of parrot.

'Ere, ye had best not be tryin' ta bite 'is 'ead orf! Us throwed that Alice Cooper feller over the Starboard side and marooned 'im on one of 'is gold records fer bitin' the 'eads orf chickens. Besides, Pecky be there ta teach ye some proper seafarin' manners, and if ye not be willin' ta take yer discipline like a man, I'll 'ave me good wife 'ave Pecky seize upon yer particulars (pink jelly bean) ta git yer proper attention

Oh, and I got meself inta trouble wiv me missus. I were in the bathroom 'elpin' one o' them French wenches take a bath when me missus came in and asked what I were doin'. I tells her that I be fixin the plughole from leakin', but she says I weren't goin' ta fix any plughole leak wiv me 'ands all over 'er chest, so I gits a clout upside me poor ol' head. S'pose I can count meself very fortunate her didn't set Pecky about me particulars.

Oh, and I got meself inta trouble wiv me missus. I were in the bathroom 'elpin' one o' them French wenches take a bath when me missus came in and asked what I were doin'. I tells her that I be fixin the plughole from leakin', but she says I weren't goin' ta fix any plughole leak wiv me 'ands all over 'er chest, so I gits a clout upside me poor ol' head. S'pose I can count meself very fortunate her didn't set Pecky about me particulars.

oohh aargghh ye best be more careful then, afore long ta missus be tying you over a barrel and bringin out tha thar thingymajiggy she uses to flush ye bottom out! bein as she be thinkin ye be full o crap now!

*sees a fine picture o capt Starkers tied to over ta barrel!* hheehawwwwwwww!

dang capt'n I be feelin right pukey now! *looks green in the face from too much imagination*