Isn't there an old sailor's belief that it's unlucky to have a woman aboard ship?

Isn't there an old sailor's belief that it's unlucky to have a woman aboard ship?

If ye be dissing Mistress Jenny, I not be protecting ye from her lash! You tell her that, I not be that foolish!

Thank ye Mistress Jennifer fer yer kind words, they be much appreciated by both myself and good lady wife. We sure 'ave 'ad an 'ard time with the lass takin' off from home to be all growed up when we still 'aven't disposed of 'er baby things, but we've come ta terms with it now and we'll wait patiently fer it all ta come good again....and it will because we have faith the good in our lass will prevail.

glad to see you still keep good humor despite your current problems.

What else can I do...cryin' over it'll just make me keyboard soggy 'n probably not work, so I keeps me chin up...besides, givin' me missus a giggle or three helps fer her to face the day with a smile. And if I sees her with a long face, I has plenty o' lunatic antics ta be ticklin' her funny bone. Like she says, if I weren't mad ta begin with, we'd be up manure creek in a barbed wire canoe with a crowbar fer a paddle.

Isn't there an old sailor's belief that it's unlucky to have a woman aboard ship?

Not on our good ship there's not....we 'aves plenty o' wenches aboard and we've not struck bad luck or sunk yet. And Mistress Jennifer always be an exception ta that rule. She be the backbone of this 'ere crew and a fine officer who be keepin' ye more difficult swabs behavin' better with her cat o' nine. We might be pirates maraudin' the 'igh seas but we not be entirely uncivilized thanks ta Mistress Jennifer handin' out a few well deserved lashes fer them debauched blaggards who need learnin' a few manners.

Aye, but I do. I have the blood of Jean la Fitte coursing through my veins!

In that case, then, we'll 'ave ta 'ighjack ye a sister ship to be sailin' 'long side us.....and knowin' yer wikkid antics be admirably comparable to ours, p'raps ye could call 'er "Just As Twisted." or "The Boozin' Buccaneer" ....maybe even "The Rum Raider.,"

Isn't there an old sailor's belief that it's unlucky to have a woman aboard ship?

Aaarggggh me thinks this icono person be holdin a big wooden spoon an stirrin the pot of me anger! Me thinks me cutlass be avin some fun soon! aaarrgggghhhh!

Tis me honor be at stake ere? spht! Woman be endangerin this ere ship! I be the lucky charm on this ere bucket!

Me believes this ere Icono be wanting me to do these things to im (or is er?), be it that icono ave a penchant for pain?

Aye Lads get out the rum, call ye whores in from LWs barge, we be avin a "pain dishin" party.

*ties icono to the main mast whilst brandishin an ugly grin on er face*

hhahaauuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmffghhhhhhhhhhhaRRRRRRRRRRR!

Ye'll not be spoilin the fun on this ere bucket capt'nd by the good captain Starkers, will he first mate Guy? Tis the center of the party he be now! yyyaaarghhhh!

Ye ave the choice icono - ye join us now or ye die by me cutlass ..............aye so slowly, piece by piece will be fed to the fishes and the pooch Rushka!

arf arf! Rushka's getting excited!

Holy shit!

354 comments on this? Wow...I should say something stupid once in awhile...well, in an article.

~Zoo

354 comments on this? Wow...I should say something stupid once in awhile...well, in an article

Nah, we've come to EXPECT it from you, zoo...(ducking)

Tis me honor be at stake ere? spht! Woman be endangerin this ere ship! I be the lucky charm on this ere bucket!

(wakes from drunken sleep) Someone be runnin' down our wommin? I'm right behind ya with me cutlass, jennifer, I...oooohh (falling down)... I'll be right there as soon as I can get this anvil off'n me skull!

Ye ave the choice icono - ye join us now or ye die by me cutlass ..............aye so slowly, piece by piece will be fed to the fishes and the pooch Rushka!

I will never join you and your band of rogue outlaws. My French ship with two rows of cannons is almost upon you. Look over your shoulder.

I'll be right there as soon as I can get this anvil off'n me skull!

awwwfffghhhh! ye be foolin agin bosin Gid, too much rum?

My French ship with two rows of cannons is almost upon you. Look over your shoulder.

Aye lads she be right! Bosun Gid, git the capt'n we be goin to war!

oy ye drunken scurvy bunch of swags, all ye swabs be gettin yerselves ready.

Where is our capt'n and our 1st mate. Bosun Gid rouse them from their beds, where they be wid their whores, be quick about my brave but drunken man! aaarghhhhhh

I be thankin ye icon fer the eads up on this ere warnin, nows we ave time to prepare fer them haaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa! *swings her cat o 9 tails above iconos head*

Come lads wake now! git off yer wimmen, don yer britches tis to war be goin now!

be thankin ye icon fer the eads up on this ere warnin, nows we ave time to prepare fer them

Your crew hasn't zee time to get sober. Surrender now and we shall only kill zee men. We'll take zee boat and zee women for our own.

Surrender now and we shall only kill the men. We'll take the boat and the women for our own.

(does anyone notice the copy and paste has transformed the word zee to the?)

Never! These ere scoundrels are the greatest pirates ye'll see in yer life, stay awake now and be seein hows they be fightin with their cutlasses and guns, drunk or no, there is no ship nor crew that be good enough to beat us.

Man the guns! Ah tis our 1st mate Guy and the good Capt'n Starkers, now ye'll see a fight with good measure. our scurvey scoundrels be sober already!

Yer boat will be ours fer the takin and the booty ye carry on board will be too!

arrghhhhhhhh haaahaaahaaa!

Aye Capt'n Starkers, we awaits your orders.........

I will never join you and your band of rogue outlaws. My French ship with two rows of cannons is almost upon you. Look over your shoulder.

Ye'll be blowed out o' the waaater if ye tries ta engage us in a sea battle! Fer a start ye be out-gunned - bein' we 'aves the Twisted Sister, Just As Twisted and the Boozin' Buccaneer surroundin' that Froggy rowin' boat ye calls a ship.....

And ye calls them pea shooters cannons! Shiver me timbers, we 'aves young lads aboard 'ere with bigger pop guns than that But if it's a fight ye 'ave come fer, then a fight ye shall get....and lest ye fergits, Cap'n Icono, we 'aves a lil green man frum outer space who'll stun ye and yer crew without as much as raisin' a cutlass or firin' shot. 'Owever, bein' the benevolant pirate cap'n that I be, we'll spare yer lives and maroon ye on Muroroa Atoll when we passes there instead....me thinks them French fellers 'ave stopped testin' their atomic bombs there now.

Your crew hasn't zee time to get sober.

Whatever it be that you're smokin' Cap'n Icono, me Bosun Gid'll have some too! Drunk or sober, my crew be the best at sea warfare there is....even the British and U.S. navies be afeared of us and steers well clear when we be about. I suggests ye do the same if yer not be willin' ta join us.

As fer takin' our wimmin, ye'd be mad to try! If Mistress Jennifer and my good lady wife gits aboard yer bucket, ye'd be sorrier than a rat in a flooded bilge. They'd 'ave ye quakin' in yer cap'ns boots....with the lashes from their tongues and cat o' nines, ye'd be demoted from cap'n to a willin' plank walker afore ye knew it.

Aye Capt'n Starkers, we awaits your orders.........

Orright then Mistress Jennifer, if that there Cap'n Icono gives ye any more trouble, 'ang 'im naked from the nearest yard arm and ask me good missus fer a loan of Pecky the carnivorous parrot (think he really be a vulture) ta pick 'is bones. And if ye be offended at the sight of pink jelly beans, I 'aves some dark glasses Gorg gave me that'll help wiv yer embarrissmint.

Yer boat will be ours fer the takin and the booty ye carry on board will be too!

Me thinks ye be right on the money there, Mistress Jennifer....he 'as no idear what he be gettin' 'imself into 'ere, do 'e! 'Owever, if we takes over 'is tub, us'll have ta rename her.....does ye think "Froggy's Waterloo" be a fittin' name fer a French vessel....with two rows o' pop guns?

I can't believe this adventure in asinine points whoring is still going on . . .

Oh, and Zoologist, if ye be thinkin 'bout comin' aboard, I don't want ye turnin' me vessel into a Noah's Ark/come menagerie! With 'ow some of me crew 'as bin behavin' lately, we 'ave enough animals aboard as it be.....not that I be 'earin' any of them wenches complainin' any.

Oh crap, I got sucked in. Somebody get me the hell off on the plank. That's a smegging ORDER. I won't be party to this insanity anymore . . . *pirate voice reappears* better to drown in the pits of digital hell than on a boat with the likes o' ye . . .

Oh arrrrrghhh, if yer not likin' ta be on a boat with the likes of we, us can easily set ye adrift in a longboat....the plank be busy right now. So if yer smeggin' order be that ye gets sent orf to the deep, us'll toss in a couple o' 30 pounder cannonballs so ye can still see Davy Jonses' locker first 'and.

Or we could send ye over to the next cruise ship we passes.....after we've sacked all its booty and taken all their wimmin. The better fun to be had is 'ere, but it be your choice if ye really wants ta disembark fer a less 'ospitable tub.