Fuzzy feller 'ad jumped ship

Who be this fuzzy fella ye be speakin' on capt

Arrr, ye lubbers berra beware o' Cap'n Spanky, for 'e'll purra curse o' woodworm in yer peg legs arrr.

The Cap'n an' ee's mateys visited the old Chocolate Planet to rape an' pillage an' nibble the wenches' chocolate coatings till they weren't maidens no more, arrr.

The Cap'n still has 'is dungeon o' chains an' 'andcuffs arrr Spanky by name an' spanky by naturrrr, arrrrrr...

arrr, plus a special white uniform with lots o' straps an' buckles to fit all sizes, arrr....

Now I be orf ta celerbrate wiv a cuppa tea n' a scone.

ye be goin' soft in ta head like? cuppa tea n' scone? *klonks the capt' round tha 'ead* I 'opes ye be puttin' a wee dram o som'tin' else in wit it?

Ay tha Fairyy be a good un ta be bringin' on board she be lootin Stardock already an walked away wit a treasure chest of loot, I be not sure mind bout ta technology we be lookin fer, I ave yet ta find out like if she has been at our pot o gold like!

Me thinks us'll 'ave ter fetch 'im aboard me 'earties.. .assemble tha press gang, first mate Guy, an' we'll go bring 'im back...kickin' n' screamin' if needs be.

AYE 'N' YE BEST BE HAVIN' T' SCONES T' BACK UP YR CROCODILE MOUTHS, Y' WHARF-RAT SONS 'O' LUBBERS! YE'LL BE LOWER 'N WHALE SHYTE>>>AN THAT"S AT THE BOTTOM 'O' T' SEA!!

AYE 'N' YE BEST BE HAVIN' T' SCONES T' BACK UP YR CROCODILE MOUTHS, Y' WHARF-RAT SONS 'O' LUBBERS! YE'LL BE LOWER 'N WHALE SHYTE>>>AN THAT"S AT THE BOTTOM 'O' T' SEA!!

aaargh capt'n look 'ere it be seldom seen, he be on board now! Took 'is bleerry time gettin 'ere didn't 'e?

Ay 'e be lookin' set fer serious piratin' work! *flicks ta cat o 9 tails above seldoms 'ead* Tis a good one we ave on board.

arrr, plus a special white uniform with lots o' straps an' buckles to fit all sizes, arrr....

Us prefers leather or rubber uniforms ourselves, they 'aves a more sweaty an' sadistic appeal...an' they looks better on them busty wenches us 'aves aboard. 'Owever, Cap'n Spanky, we be glad ta see ye 'as joined the fleet agin, wiv yer own ship n' all. Now what be she called, 'The Chocolate Raider'?

The Cap'n still has 'is dungeon o' chains an' 'andcuffs arrr Spanky by name an' spanky by naturrrr, arrrrrr...

Ye'd makes fer a good pa-artner ta Mistress Jennifer....her likes all them tools o' discipline n' torture fer keepin' unruly swabs in 'and. So if ye 'as any troubles gettin' yer crew ta go on a chocklit raid, just send a hoy, and us'll send 'er o'er to 'e wiv cat o' nine at the ready.

ye be goin' soft in ta head like? cuppa tea n' scone? *klonks the capt' round tha 'ead* I 'opes ye be puttin' a wee dram o som'tin' else in wit it?

The cap'n be a non-swillin' teetotaller these days....cos it were ne'er a wee dram he could stop at. Ol' Cap'n starkers use ta spend too much of he's booty on grog an' near sunk the fleet cos there were no treasure ta pay fer the repairs, so 'e clevered up an' put all 'is booty inta technology fer ta keep the fleet afloat. Asides, somebody 'as ta keep a clear n' sober 'ead so's we don't run aground an' git stuck wiv all them thar landlubbers.

AYE 'N' YE BEST BE HAVIN' T' SCONES T' BACK UP YR CROCODILE MOUTHS, Y' WHARF-RAT SONS 'O' LUBBERS! YE'LL BE LOWER 'N WHALE SHYTE>>>AN THAT"S AT THE BOTTOM 'O' T' SEA!!

Now that be a fine way ta git thee self aboard....all full o' sas n' spunk, like. Now that be what we bin needin' around 'ere, a sea dog wiv a salty tongue ta 'elp liven up tha paaarty. Ye be a sight for sore eyes, seldomseem, but welcome aboard an' feel free ta let yer 'air down....we sails under tha Jolly Roger, ye knows, an' it not be called JOLLY fer nuffin'.

AYE 'N' YE BEST BE HAVIN' T' SCONES T' BACK UP YR CROCODILE MOUTHS, Y' WHARF-RAT SONS 'O' LUBBERS! YE'LL BE LOWER 'N WHALE SHYTE>>>AN THAT"S AT THE BOTTOM 'O' T' SEA!!

Aye,he has spunk that seldomseen bloke! He be a fine addition to the crew.

AARRRrrr ... needs me java, I does... red sky this mornin', sailor tyke warnin'... bleedin' parrot must'v slepped in me pie-hole...FAUGH!! ... AARGH! ... [gutterballs his way t' th' galley] Where's that shameless excuse for a pot-rattlin' galley slave?! I'll 'ave 'is guts fer garters, I will! Where's me fatback 'n' scrapple, bye gar?!! WAUGH! ACCHH! [farts horrendously, damp and crepuscular-like] Bloody paint-peeler, that was... Best be hangin' me arse from th' fantail fr a spell, give th' poxy gulls som' mornin' vittles...

Where's that shameless excuse for a pot-rattlin' galley slave?!

We had ta keel haul one o' the cooks as he could fix nothing but cheese sandwiches. Ta other seems to have jumped ship.

Ye'd makes fer a good pa-artner ta Mistress Jennifer....her likes all them tools o' discipline n' torture fer keepin' unruly swabs in 'and. So if ye 'as any troubles gettin' yer crew ta go on a chocklit raid, just send a hoy, and us'll send 'er o'er to 'e wiv cat o' nine at the ready.

Arrr, sounds loiks'a handy wench, arrr. Be it she oi' sees 'bout hoistin' mi jolly roger? arrr...

[farts horrendously, damp and crepuscular-like] Bloody paint-peeler, that was...

That be it, it be! Both you n' Gorg be banned frum them thar baked beans the galley wench be preparin'. Last time Gorg near burned tha sails to a crisp....and we'll 'ave no paint peelin' goin' on 'round 'ere. It be 'ard enuff ta git them scurvy swabs ta scrub tha decks, so I tell 'e us 'aves no need fer repaintin' stuff aboard this 'ere vessel.

'Owever, seldomseen, if us e'er needs fer some xtra git up n' go when the wind won't blow, us'll 'ave ye hang yer arse in tha waAter orf the rudder. Arrrrghhh, that'd make this ol' BaArk like one o' them thar new fangled jet ski thingemegigs...there'd be no booty laden trader that'd out-run us then.

Arrr, sounds loiks'a handy wench, arrr.

I'll 'ave ye know Cap'n Spanky, Mistress Jennifer be not a wench...her be's a fine officer wiv the 'ighest credentials in cat o' ninery n' crew discipline, an asset fer any cap'n wiv a motley crew like this bunch o' ruffian sea dogs I 'aves 'ere ...not that I'd e'r be wivout 'em.

The Cap'n an' ee's mateys visited the old Chocolate Planet to rape an' pillage an' nibble the wenches' chocolate coatings till they weren't maidens no more, arrr.

Arr Cap't Spanky ye ol devil, now i be knowin who ye be! Aye tis a right time ye and ye crew be givin ta wimen!

Any ye men be steppin' outta line like - ye be sendin' im t' me an' I be givin him the cat and thumbscrews like 'e nere felt before!

I be takin no crap from no man! I be beatin' ta shyte outta im that be givin' me lip! Ye be tellin ye men they be mindin' their manners like!

aaargh

booty laden

??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?! Wot then...'as he 'ad a sex-change whilst buggerin' about in them caves w' naught but men about fr comfort 'n' companionship?! Waugh! AArrrh...

Best be ridden th' worl' o' th' likes o' him... 'twere be done, best be done quickly!'
[a thousand pardons to th' bard for quotin' th' last]

??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?! Wot then...'as he 'ad a sex-change whilst buggerin' about in them caves w' naught but men about fr comfort 'n' companionship?! Waugh! AArrrh...

  
Aye, ye been 'earin bout the coward in a missy dress!

Aye, but It'll not be wot they expect!

??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?

Nope, booty laden be no relation ta them thar varmints. It be meanin' full o' treasure, not full o' shite, like that thar brood o' recalcitrant cave dwellers.