I not be starkers first wife... her be long gone thank goodness.

Long gawn yeah, but still not far enuff....ev'ry so often her'll rear 'er ugly 'ead n' wanna catch up on ol' times wiv I, if ye knows wot I mean. Not bloody likely...I'd rather walk barefoot n' backwards 'cross tha Sahara.

Distance were wot I wanted, an' lots of it...but alas, thar weren't no NASA expeditions goin' outta tha galaxy at tha time. Not bein' one ta give up easy like, I asked 'em if I could git 'er on a shuttle goin' to tha International space station...but they said thar were no room fer 'er inside...."Not ta wurry, I says, her'll be orright if ye pits 'er on a leash n' drags 'er along be'ind ye.

I bleedin 'ope not or he be calling ye a cow!

Never!! This 'ere missus be be 10 times tha woman o' that thar other creature....her were orright when I wed 'er, but I says creature now cos 'er started growin' so much body hair.... n' I offen caurght er searchin' fer fleas. Geez, er got that hirsute thar coulda bin an 'ole menagerie o' critters 'idin' in thar

Distance were wot I wanted, an' lots of it...but alas, thar weren't no NASA expeditions goin' outta tha galaxy at tha time. Not bein' one ta give up easy like, I asked 'em if I could git 'er on a shuttle goin' to tha International space station...but they said thar were no room fer 'er inside...."Not ta wurry, I says, her'll be orright if ye pits 'er on a leash n' drags 'er along be'ind ye.

      

I told me missus' that tha Dolphin be missus starkers and the steer be Capt'n starkers

That's the way it looks to me. So be it

And by the way:

A very Merry Christmas and Most Happy and Prosperous New Year to all Aboard!!
Peace to everyone

A very Merry Christmas and Most Happy and Prosperous New Year to all Aboard!! Peace to everyone

Amen to that thar...I be linin' up a special service fer tha crew complete with Roast Pheasant, deviled eggs, plum pudding and a bountiful harvest of rum...if'n I can get tha cook to particiapte and let me in tha galley...might be I have to get the Doc to occupy her fer a spell if'n I can get him away from them thar Amazonians

Best hide the deviled eggs. I currently hold the record around here for the most consumed in the least time. And if there's hard sauce aka brandy-butter for the plum puddin', this soberized scoundrel's gonna fall off the wagon quicker'n'snakes er th' blink of an eye!

Best hide the deviled eggs. I currently hold the record around here for the most consumed in the least time. And if there's hard sauce aka brandy-butter for the plum puddin', this soberized scoundrel's gonna fall off the wagon quicker'n'snakes er th' blink of an eye!

Aaaarrrggghhh...Down me bucko, thar be a plenty of eggs fer all ye mateys, an I be seein' the cook flames tha puddin' so as not to be upsttin' tha wagon ye be on

an jes' so thar be no misconcepshuns...thar be none of dim girly finger sandmiches a bein' served at this 'ere feast so ye be leavin' yer manners in yer racks

Turkey-legs'n'buttered yams, one for every hand!!
We be tyin' on the ol' feed bag, fr sartin'!
Be needin' one a them hand-truck carts t' move me out after...

'Ere, you be duelin wiv Pecky? That not be right....he be 'alf yer size n' e's peter be A LOT smaller n' yers. I suggests if ye wants ta sword fight like that thar , then git yerself o'er ta tha Froggie barge cos they 'aves wenches thar who be just itchin' ta learn how ta 'andle a sword...er, ye knows wot I mean.

Ye aint seen im since he started using them blue pills like candy!

Aye Capt'n! I sleep off a night o'ta rum, and the crew be back and ready for fightin! Best we set sail for Stardock now, before they get lazy again! Sides, they be freezin the waters there ere now.

since he started using them blue pills like candy!

Aarrgh...those da ones that be leavin em naked or invisible to de eye?

That's the way it looks to me. So be it

"Ere, this be one o' them thar times ye should be seldomsee'd...er, seldom'eard, if at all. Now I knows I 'aves a large rump, but ye be takin' it a bit far when ye suggests that thar steer be lookin' summat like me....e's arse be a lot bigger n' mine.

Best hide the deviled eggs. I currently hold the record around here for the most consumed in the least time

Us'll 'ide 'em fer sure....we be told ye be notorious fer frequent anal announcements n' pusilanimous odours that'd peel tha barnacles orf a vessel that 'ave long sailed o'er tha 'orizon.

Ye aint seen im since he started using them blue pills like candy!

Nor fer A while I 'adn't, but then I spied 'im o'er on that thar Amazonian isle, an' he were chasin' anyfink wiv feavers on...crows, buzzards ravens....even an ol' gal from tha blue rinse set who were wearin' a feather boa.

Aarrgh...those da ones that be leavin em naked or invisible to de eye?

Ye be a bit confused thar me ol' mate. Thar be tha blue pill wot Po` takes ta make 'im invisible fer five minutes....then thar be tha one Doc be takin' fer when he be visitin' them thar Amazonian wenches. Could be in'trestin' tho, if he were ta take tha both of 'em together.....five minutes later us'd all be wund'rin whar tha extra mast come from.

"Ere, this be one o' them thar times ye should be seldomsee'd...er, seldom'eard, if at all. Now I knows I 'aves a large rump, but ye be takin' it a bit far when ye suggests that thar steer be lookin' summat like me....e's arse be a lot bigger n' mine.

It be all relative Capt'n...if'n te missus had been one of them thar Battleships instead of'n a Dolphin then ye would had seem to be small

It be all relative Capt'n.

That it be...that me arse be relatively large but in comparison relatively small ta that thar relative steer Question is, whose relative be he relative to....that thar relative steer, who 'appens ta'ave a relatively bigger arse than my relatively smaller un.

Oh, an' Battleship not be a word me missus be too fond of....gives 'er nightmares n' flashbacks of 'er ex- muvver-in-law from 'er first marriage. Put it this way, I see'd her meself an' she be one formidable female who could sink a fleet with one foul look.
She 'ad tha kind o' face that'd change fair weather to foul and turn mens 'eads.... can't say it'd do thar gizzards any good, neither.

A very Merry Christmas and Most Happy and Prosperous New Year to all Aboard!! Peace to everyone

Back at yer! May it be a holiday filled with peace and happiness - however fleeting!