BTW, when us take oe'r StarFleet, we be maroonin' that thar Spock feller on Venus fer a bit, bein' he were chasin' after wenches n' wored out e's sehlat. Thar'd be no use of 'im in battle wiv a flaccid sehlat, n' mebbe them thar wenches on Venus'll help revive it afore us goes a conquerin' tha Galaxy

  


Now I be thinkin e be 'avin' mind powers an can be strong!!! Ta wenches wil miss 'is sehlat, ta be askin if he can be on board ta service em more when ta crew be ta full o rum ta do it like? 'e can be their slave like.... ta want be puttin 'im in chains fer ter' own pleasurin like.

These wenches of LWs barge be like really orny all a time!! Bes' be keepin' 'em 'appy like capt'n.

Fuzzy sehlat an all!!

Fuzzy sehlat an all!!

I be thinkin I jes' stepped on one of 'em...time be makin fer ta rum

But he be the evil spock from another universe

Be he good or be he bad....a limp sehlat be no good ta us in battle, 'specially agin them thar Amazonian wenches of Argon. Fer us ta stand a chance agin them, us'd 'ave ta 'ave a warrior wiv a firm sehlat n' be prepared ta use it.....

Oh-Arrrgggghhhh, if only I were 25 years younger. There were a time when I'd 'ave had tha whole tribe o' them thar Amazonian wenches runnin' fer cover from me sehlat. But alas, it 'ave bin 'arder ta find these days...p'raps if I were ta clean me spyglass proper like, I might find it 'idin' away in me drawers somewhar's.

These wenches of LWs barge be like really orny all a time!! Bes' be keepin' 'em 'appy like capt'n.

An' em'll not be partakin' of our sehlats....us'll be too busy conquerin' tha galaxy, but thar be some thingwybobs down tha 'old 'em can 'ave....tho they'll 'ave ta supply their own batteries.

I be thinkin I jes' stepped on one of 'em

Probably not....sounded more like tha cat - an' 'e were racin' 'bout decks wiv e's tail between e's legs.

An' em'll not be partakin' of our sehlats....us'll be too busy conquerin' tha galaxy, but thar be some thingwybobs down tha 'old 'em can 'ave....tho they'll 'ave ta supply their own batteries.

Capt'n, I be noticin me ol' throbbers not a throbbin', tho I not be a askin' the ol' Doc to be expectin' it any time soon ya 'ear, I be expectan' somuns be lacing the food wit' the ol' salt-peter, the scurvy swine

Capt'n, I be noticin me ol' throbbers not a throbbin', tho I not be a askin' the ol' Doc to be expectin' it any time soon ya 'ear, I be expectan' somuns be lacing the food wit' the ol' salt-peter, the scurvy swine

I knows 'xactly wot ye means....me thinks thar be wikkid doin's a goin' on in that thar galley. Me throbber 'aven't bin workin' fer a bit now, an' if there be some scurvy swab lacin' tha grub wiv salt peter n' bromide, I'll 'ave 'im strung up on tha yardarm by e's weddin' tackle.....

'Ere, do 'e think it'd be some Viagara induced sea dog wantin' ta keep all tha wenches to 'eself? If so I knows 'ow us'll find tha culprit....we'll git a willin' wench ta smooch up ta the crew, an' us'll string up tha one who's fillin' out e's tights more than tha others.

Aaaarrrgghhh, thar'll be no greed aboard this 'ere vessel....share n' share alike, I says....so if there be any Viagara gittin' about, I wants some.

'Ere, do 'e think it'd be some Viagara induced sea dog wantin' ta keep all tha wenches to 'eself?

I be noticin' that thar be a scarce showin of the one that be startin' this 'ere thread...I be not pointin any fingers ye 'ear but thar be a foul win' on tha air...if'n it was me Capt'n I be thinkin' tha thar be a danger of ye gettin ta hold of any Viagar, I be espectin' them thar Amazons twould be a rippin each other to shreds to be gittin' next ta ye'

I be noticin' that thar be a scarce showin of the one that be startin' this 'ere thread.

I think 'e still be about....probably 'idin' down tha 'old ta pop e's 'ead up now n' then fer a gander as ta wot we be up ta....then 'e buggers off agin.

I be espectin' them thar Amazons twould be a rippin each other to shreds to be gittin' next ta ye'

Oh goodie, an' do 'em start wiv their clobber....cos I 'aven't seed any nekkid female flesh fer a bit now.....tha last time were tha December Playboy in 1973, me thinks, then Mrs starkers cancelled me subscription ta put 'er name down fer 12 copies o' Better 'omes n' Gardens. I says to 'er, "Bugger that, whar d'ya think us'll put a flamin' garden on a bleedin' ship?" T'weren't no use aaarguin' tho....her'd decided flowerpots were more pleasin' ta tha eye than nekkid wenches, n' that were that....

Prob'ly no use ta me gittin' Viagara neither, her'll prob'ly feed it ta the potted vine outside our cabin door....so's it'll 'rise up' n' climb tha walls.

Arrrr, what be 'e callin a one legged pirate digging for gold?

...Heather McCartney, arrr...

Better 'omes n' Gardens

thar 'il be plenty of use of tha thar paper tho' out ta rspect of the sheilas' onbord
I twont be a sayin' fer the use of it

Arrrr, what be 'e callin a one legged pirate digging for gold?

werd has it 'em two be on agin off agin, more so then ta Capt'n after 'e been a takin upon isself to da rum an bromide, altho' that thar be a concoctshen that put har where the sun not be a shinin'

Arrrr, what be 'e callin a one legged pirate digging for gold? ...Heather McCartney, arrr...

Now that not be a nice thing ta say.....I ne'er seed 'er wearin' an eyepatch an' her don't 'ave a parrot on 'er shoulder, neither (would peck out 'er lyin' tongue anyhow), so 'er be an imposter n' not one o' us.

Asides from all that....beats me why a one-legged woman'd wanna git inta an arse kickin' contest wiv Paul anyhow.

*****I wonders now if her'll sue me too, n' divorce 'erself from tha pirate fraternity o'er me comments. *****

thar 'il be plenty of use of tha thar paper tho' out ta rspect of the sheilas' onbord

'Ere, whar be 'e gittin' 'sheilas' from....that be Aussie slang fer wenches! But I knows wot ye means...Bett'r 'Omes n' Gardens 'ave bin servin' as bog paper at my joint fer ages now.

werd has it 'em two be on agin off agin...like 'oneymoon rabbits they be

Now, now, seaman ta, ye cain't be sayin' things like that if ye wants ya be promoted ta Ship's Chaplain.....

Now, now, seaman ta, ye cain't be sayin' things like that if ye wants ya be promoted ta Ship's Chaplain

I be takin' that thar promotion after dealin' a heavy han to the backside of them thar starfleet characters, beggin' your pardon Capt'n

Hmmm, my sehlat is looking a little hungry - wonder who will be first on the menu...   

I be takin' that thar promotion after dealin' a heavy han to the backside of them thar starfleet characters,

That thar promotion be yer's, ta....but I don' wan' 'e ta be preachin' that thar love thy neighbour stuff ta tha crew. Us 'aves our own Pirate Bible wiv its own ten commandments.....tha first bein': "Thou shalt covet thy neighbourin' vessels' booty."
Thar were anuvver 'bout lovin' thy cap'n as thee would love thyself....but Mrs starkers repealed that'n cos some o' tha wenches were gittin' a bit too fresh wiv I...

BTW, that thar Pirate's Bible be an 'eavy bugger n' good fer whallopin'....n' as ship's chaplain, it be yer's ta administer some 'ard preachin' ta them thar Starfleet swabs ....n' Lord knows them needs it after beamin' down that thar pointy earred feller wiv e's unrestrained sehlat n' runnin' amok among tha wenches.

Hmmm, my sehlat is looking a little hungry - wonder who will be first on the menu...

Ye might be 1st Officer on that thar Enterprise bucket, n' free ta git about scarin' Uhura wiv yer unfettered sehlat....but us'll not 'ave that 'ere cos thar be wenches talkin' 'bout jumpin o'erboard ta 'void it tatterin' their undergarments

Hmmm, my sehlat is looking a little hungry - wonder who will be first on the menu...

I-Chaya 'ad best be thinkin' of 'ow he can best be avoidin' this 'ere ship 'efore them thar 6-inch claws be used fer teethpicks by this 'ere crew

I-Chaya 'ad best be thinkin' of 'ow he can best be avoidin' this 'ere ship 'efore them thar 6-inch claws be used fer teethpicks by this 'ere crew

More ta tha point, e'd bett'r tuck that thar sehlat away somewhares safe....I 'ears Lorena Bobbit 'ave signed on fer a 3 week cruise ta 'scape tha continuin' cut n' run gossip.