Nope... but us did 'ave a Chinese cook once...'til I figured wot wos 'appenin' t' the rats frum tha bilge.

Aye, tha blaggard wos passin' 'em orf in e's chicken soup.

They be tastin a might like chicken I heerd.

.... yar?

Well that not be wot 'eared... so fer 'e's gall t' feed us vermin, I 'ad 'im keel'auled 'til thar wur no more barnacles 'neath tha Sister's waterline. Aarrrghhhh!!!

Aye, so he did serve a useful purpose. Dat be good.

Aye, 'e wur useful orright...'part frum rubbin' orf all tha barnacles, 'e dislodged a bunch o' stowaways wot wos 'angin' orf tha rudder t' avoid bein' see'd aboard.

Now ye knows wot wos slowin' us down gittin' t' Stardock... a rabble o' rastafarian refugees wot wos tryin' t' reach tha land o' great ganga/wonderful weed/wacky t'baccy.

And still no wurd frum Gorg?????



Now that be a wurd wot Gorg says! So it be true, then, ye Stardock fellers really do 'ave Gorg chained t' tha wall in yer brig.... doin' all sorts o' unimaginable fing to 'im.

I juss 'opes ye 'aven't skinned 'im.... while it took a bit o' gittin' used to at tha start, I 'ave become rather fond of e's pale gray complexion n' wouldn' want 'im any other way.

I mean, them thar big bug eyes of e's juss wouldn' look right if'n 'e wur pink or summat.

Wot d' ye reckon Doc, that us'd make better speed t' rescue tha poor lil feller now them banacles n' stowaways be gawn?

Now say that 3 times fast, an' not like liza doolittle.



Aye, but best be checkin the bilge water for any frogies as well.

Ye 'aves ter be joshin' me, Doc! I can't even say it fast tha once... tho me Liza Dolittle impreshun weren't so bad.



Thank ye fer remindin' me, Doc, I 'adn't thunk o' that... us wouldn' want a bilge full o' slippery lil tadpoles, now would us? Bein' as 'ow 'em multiplies faster than them thar randy rabbits, they'd slow us down fer shure..

At Last Word Frum Gorg

Aye, Gorg 'ave used Stardock technolergy n' one o' thar coding pigeons t' send I a message. 'E says they be treatin' 'im orright, which I be glad fer, but I fears us mightn't see 'im agin.

'E n' Gorgina 'aves thar own room; them gets t' eat whatever 'em fancies; they gits t' sit around n' watch DVD's an' 'em gits t' play wiv all tha technolergy stuff. Bastards be treatin' 'em like a king n' queen so's 'em 'll want ter stay thar n' not come back t' tha Sister.

Me finks, if tha truth be knowed, they be thar pickin' e's brain fer alien technolergies wot'll 'elp 'em boost sales. Now that thar might be all well n' good, but wot about all e's shipmates wot misses 'im???

Orright, so Gorg don't need rescuin' after all... but I shure 'opes them'll let 'im n' Gorgina 'ave a vacashun t' come visit fer a bit now n' then.

Aye, he be a pod person now. This ere stardock technology be stonger than we feared. Ow many others have we lost to that thar technology?

Fer shure, Doc, thar be millions wot 'ave bin done in by Stardock technolergy... why, I even got some if it meself n' 'ave bin mesmerised by it. At first I though nought of it, that I'd not git t' me 'ammock of a night, but now I comes t' think of it, them thar Stardock fellers knowed 'xactly wot 'em wos doin' when 'em devised all this 'ere stuff.

It be like tha drugs ye be 'avin' when yer 'aves no drugs.... it be addictive an' 'em knowed it frum tha start. Wot be worse is thar be no antidote fer it... an then yer got all them thar secret agents wot calls 'emselves skinners doin' stuff t' make it even 'arder fer us t'git back t' a normal piratin' life.

Mebbe us should oughta storm Stardock any'ow... no just ter rescue Gorg n' e's missus, but t' pick Frogboy's brains fer technolergies wot 'll 'elp us git more wind in tha sails so's us can collect more booty faster.

Aye, wit dark glasses on! Look not inna dat light!

Now that thar sounds like a plan to I... us'll storm tha fortress walls afore dusk or thar abouts n' git strait ter Frogboy's office wiv da thumb screws ta git them thar technolergies wot us needs ter become tha most feared pirates on tha 'igh seas. Aaarrgghh, us'd become invincible... more than a match fer them thar Froggies n' tha King's navy, I'll be tellin' of 'e.

Orright then, this 'ere thread 'ave bin revived t' give all ye landlubbers wot don't know proper pirate a chance ter practice pirate lingo afore 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' on September 19

An' I suggests ye take tha opportunity while tha goin's good... cos if'n us can't understand 'e all proper-like on tha day, tha ship's mistress 'll be tendin' t yer landlubber 'ides wiv tha cat-o-nine...aarrgghhhhh!!!!

***Oh, n' don't blame I fer dredgin' this un up from Davy Jones' locker... blame Zubaz cos it wos 'im wot left a breadcrumb trail right up t' tha cabin door frum 'ere WWW Link***