sher as the wind lift the sails

Ye can be guaranteed o' it....tha cook gave I a double helpin' o' curried cabbage las' nite.

But me thinks I'll abstain frum tha rum....makes me fart wurse than a brewers 'orse ....n' us don't wanna be 'avin ta be pullin' inta port ta replace blowed away sails.

But me thinks I'll abstain frum tha rum....makes me fart wurse than a brewers 'orse

If'n ye be mixin Aqua Velva in with it, ye will smell so good ye be fallin' in Luv with yeself

If'n ye be mixin Aqua Velva in with it, ye will smell so good ye be fallin' in Luv with yeself

Dunno 'bout that! A former g/friend reg'larly complained that I frequently shamed 'er in public wiv me extreme bouts o' pungent pantaloon puffin'....so afore us went ashore ta sup at the Pirates Inn one evenin', I drank me a whole bottle o' that thar Old Spice aftershave ta 'opefully prevent me odious emissions n' save 'er goin' beetroot red.

Didn't work tho....tha spice in tha Old Spice juss concentrated the curry in tha curried cabbage even more....n' tha whole inn whar evacuated, fer a whole week.

Capt'n, from the looks of it we be have some mates missin' an a skiff to boot

Capt'n, from the looks of it we be have some mates missin' an a skiff to boot

Aaarrghhh...us'll 'ave ta lornch tha longboat n' drag 'em back in chains frum that thar isle they be cavortin' about on wiv near nekkid native wenches....

Best we up thar rum rations ta keep 'em a bit 'appier....too drunk ta row ashore.

.....'Ere, do 'e think it be all that thar curried cabbage I be eatin' that's drivin' 'em ta seek refuge (fresh air) ashore?

Orright, curried cabbage is off the menu....tis safe ta come back aboard now, really!

Sorry Cap'n {Urrrrp}. Was feasting on them birds they got in this here land.

I found the Doc's stash and hav' been partakin' of it Capt'n

of rum that is

Sorry Cap'n {Urrrrp}. Was feasting on them birds they got in this here land.

Now I 'opes ye be speakin' o' them thar scrub turkeys there abouts, n' not tha near nekkid hula wenches....I be fine wiv a bit o' neckin' n' canoodlin', but I'm not one fer cannibalism.

I found the Doc's stash and hav' been partakin' of it Capt'n.....of rum that is

Arrrgghh, ye be a right royal pisspot, ta. But 'ere, I'll give 'e a little tip! When ye've emptied Doc's keg, refill it wiv cold tea n' a bit o' rum essence....wiv a mouthful o' bird he'd ne'er know tha diff'rence.

Juss as well ye didn' git inta 'e's other stash....I 'ears when it be mixed wiv rum ye can see sea monsters n' tha like. But thar agin, ye'd be as 'igh as a KITE, n' if one o' tha sails tored, us could run ye up tha mast ta catch tha wind.

Now I 'opes ye be speakin' o' them thar scrub turkeys there abouts, n' not tha near nekkid hula wenches....I be fine wiv a bit o' neckin' n' canoodlin', but I'm not one fer cannibalism.

Aye, I cud speak sometin here, but I doan want this to get an X rating.

Aye, I cud speak sometin here, but I doan want this to get an X rating.

Aarrrrggghhh.....best then ye keep them thar utterances under wraps/be'ind closed doors....besides, it be rude ta speak wiv yer mouth full.

Asides, I kin read tha book when ye writes yer memoirs....juss don' fergit tha illustrations.

Asides, I kin read tha book when ye writes yer memoirs....juss don' fergit tha illustrations.

Tha will be a tail to tell.

Tha will be a tail to tell.

Aaarggghh....and with tha self-explanatory illustrations it'd be bound fer tha bestest seller list within a day o' bein' released.